Black and Blue...and a Little Red in the Face, Too!

Apparently, everyone loves to hear a good story about someone falling and busting their booty. Unfortunately, I was that particular "someone" last weekend. I wasn't planning on making a blog post about my fall. I would usually consider myself a sure-footed type of person, so whenever I do trip and fall, I get extremely embarrassed about it. But the few people who have heard about my fall have gotten a real kick out of it, and since this blog is meant to make people laugh, I decided to go ahead and share my embarrassing story with my faithful readers so that everyone can enjoy it.

It all started when I told my mom that I wanted to buy some patio furniture. (Yes, I have finally ventured back out into my back yard since the snake incident!) My mom loves to spend my money for me, so she immediately sent me website links to some different patio furniture sets. I decided that I liked this set at Academy:



I think this set will look great by my pool, and I also think I will be safe from snakes as I sit in these chairs.

So I decided to go to Academy to check out the set. They had the set on display, so I got a chance to sit in the chairs and inspect the set up close. It looked great, and I decided to purchase it. However, the set came in this huge box, and I knew there was no way that box would fit in my little car. I left the store knowing that I had to come up with a new game plan. As I was leaving the store, I must have been really focused on developing a new plan, because I didn't see that someone had spilled milk (yes, MILK?!) in the middle of the aisle I was walking down. I remember sliding a few feet, but the next chain of events is still just a blur to me. All I know is that one second I was sliding down the aisle, and the next second I was totally on the ground and my body was contorted in some strange way that I know I could never repeat. Sometimes falls like this one seem to happen in slow motion. Not this one. I slid, I fell, I jumped back up. I was back on my feet just as quickly as I had gone down. I then did what anyone would have done in this situation. I quickly scanned the immediate vicinity to see if anyone witnessed my horrible fall. Much to my dismay, two young male Academy workers were standing about 5 feet away gawking at me. I didn't have a mirror on hand, but I just know my face was a nice shade of maroon. After what felt like centuries, one of the guys asked if I was okay. Because I was so embarrassed and because I needed something...anything...to blame, I very matter-of-factly told them that they "might want to clean up that spill". Once they realized that was the reason I performed what looked like a rendition of an ice skating routine gone terribly wrong, they very swiftly snapped into action. At this point, I was so embarrassed that I was practically running out of the store, with milk dripping down my legs and my flip flops sloshing with milk in them. I'm sure I was quite a sight. The workers were chasing after me making sure I was okay and apologizing. I didn't even look back at them. All I could think of was that I needed to get out of that store, and never return. I'm pretty sure that even if that fall had paralyzed me, I would have found a way to get up and run out of that store. It's funny what a little embarrassment will do to you.

Shortly after this incident, I called my dad to see if he would buy the patio set for me at the Academy in Mobile and load it in his truck on his next trip up here. I have resigned myself to the fact that I will never step foot in Academy again. Being the nice, caring person that he is, when I told my dad about my fall, he was really concerned and kept asking if I was okay. And then he handed the phone to my mom. And she laughed. And laughed. And laughed for a good five minutes straight. And when she finally composed herself, she asked, "But you're okay, right?".

For anyone who may be concerned, I have recovered from the fall pretty well. I was a little sore and my knee was a little bruised up:



Luckily, I think the biggest injury was the serious hit to my pride.